im a lonely person. wiff no fwends that live here anymore... buuuuT
this weekend was a much needed one, as megan came home && the brilliant katie vogel has arrived home for the summer. friday was spent drinking margs at my house & getting absurdly trashed just to challenge my brothers 16 year old friends to wii boxing. that shit HURTS. my arm was sore for days.
my muscles are pathetic, i dont even think they really are muscles. anyways. saturday was spent at ariels.. wes & i started talking again and i went home with him. sunday, well sucked. i was in a bad mood all day and was hot and sticky and just a fussy mess. this is like fucking texas weather!!!!!!!!!!!! instead of being trashed dressed up with my best friends in sf, i sat arround doing nothing. i miss the bay more than anything, and what i really miss is the friends i made up there.
wesley is my best most important person ever, but i just miss that security feeling of friendship. knowing that they wont disappoint me. ii just.... miss it. and i wont ever have that back, which kills me inside. financial aid was DENIED, soo there goes my hopes & dreams for a car! just.. lovely. whatever. im kind of over life shitting on me, it happens alot.
my new attitude is to just not to let anyone get to me. i think its sad really, i used to be incredibly personable and nice. im kind of a bitch now. i can just feel myself shutting down & after being emotionally beat to a pulp, i have nothing to lose & just want to succeeed in my own life and take my wesley with me.
i hope my megan has an amazing time in europe! shes the big 2-1 now && im loving that shes going abroad!!! i will miss her so much and hope she returns with many stories and pictures. i just hope more than anything, that this trip makes up for her lack of fun in the past few years.
college is an oDD time in life. you find yourself. you find true friends. and most importantly, you find your values. my final art proJect is a triptic on my fresh sopH & junior year of college. each with a theme, each with symbols, each with a meaning of its own.
love love everyone, althought it doesnt flow as often as it should
XOXo
ps_ CHUCK AND BLAIR FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ADELEEEEE
ReplyDeletei check this every now and then to see how you are doing, plus the fact that your are funny and entertaining, but this breaks my heart. we all miss you here soo much. and even as time passes your sparkling personality could never ever be replaced. sf is not the same with out you but it will always be here waiting for you. i hope that things gets better. times are tough right now for me too... but WE WILL see brighter days..we just have to push through all the BULL SHIT.so dont trip chocolate chip! ILOOOOVEYOU
sarah
oh my dear. you are beautiful inside and out. i feel like i spent a good 20 years of my life being seriously SHAT on. constant needles going into my spine. beating upon beating, i was nearly ready to give up. but for whatever reason i kept going. maybe for the ones i love, or maybe because it isnt about me, and i know that i am just a piece of something so much bigger than i am. keep your head up. regardless of how the world, and other people treat you, treat them with respect. be the bigger person and it WILL pay off.
ReplyDeletei promise you. look at my life in the past, and look at it now. happiness is in the cards for you, dont forget the role that you play in the world. you have the power to make people smile. you light up rooms. to give up on being you, would be selfish and silly. (: