burP.

i have been feeling sticky lately. i'm not sure where to pinpoint the feeling, but its creepy crawling up and all over. and i'm not a fan. (i AM however, i big fucking fan of the lakers snagging 3-1 lead in the mf finals though... but thats a different story) anywho, i suppose its the cramping i'm feeling with living at home after i've had 3 years of complete (and probably too much) freedom. the pressure majorly comes from wes too. although i know our love is just solid as a rock, he's been really unsupportive and snappy and discouraging lately. i'm not sure what it is... but its not helping the frustrations i've been keeping inside.

i finally made a friend i reaaaally like! her name is nicole, my co-teacher at shooting stars. shes from the bay & is a dance major at calArts & i can already tell this homegirl is going to SAVE my summer. i'm happy to finally have met someone key for me, besides my boyfriend. without a car to call my own, its been basically IMPOSSIBLE to go out & see any of my other friends who are down here for sum vacay but further south. i just really feel like i need to see everyone & rekindLe the frienships before they dissolve... which i hope never happens, i met the greatest people of my life in san francisco and will never forgive myself if those flaw and fail.

i guess.... i'm just in a rut. i'm here, in school full time, working way-over-full-time & being a good girl with a dog & a boyfriend.... i just life just lost its spice. i mean HOW could life possibly be spicy here? i just feel distant from myself & distant from the people i love and care immensely about. my friends... wesley lately... i just dont know anymore.

nothing is really long, i just feel like i've lost touch with myself. after writing this all out... that is what i will conclude is wrong. WHO is adele vannini? WHAT does she stand for? WHERE is she going? WHY are you here? WHEN will these be answered?

the four W's that can go fuck themselves, because i hate not having answers.


on some lighter note here, shooting stars and the children i teach bring a smile to my face EVERY DAY and hearing "miss adele!!! MISS ADELE DID YOU KNOW WHAT?!" just brightens everything that is ever wrong and hearing that Camille's puppy once "ated my piece of hambuger" in the middle of plie's is simply brilliant. i love my job.