yesterday my mom told me that she had "familial love for me", like "she loves me a as her daughter" but she does not like me. and this was a dead serious conversation. i think that was literally thee most hurtful thing i have ever heard in my life.
it tripped me out because JUST the day before i had my radio on 97.1 fm listening to the heidi, frosty & frank or whatever show & they had parents calling in saying that they either didn't like, felt lukewarm, etc about their children and i remember listening to it saying, "wow.. how could anyone say those things"
alas, it is my reality. i sat calmly in the car asked to be dropped wherever we were and wes came and got me. i will always remeber yesterday clear as glass. i wish i didn't, and i can't believe that my mom is so weak that she would to ever say that to me. i am just.. numb i guess. she told me i could move out and get my own phone plan if i wanted. we're a couple months into me living here? i... just really am throwing a middle finger to the sky right now... im just really sad right now.
CIAO BELLA. XX
Tell me if you like my dog, bella!!
ReplyDeleteit hurt me just reading this blog so i couldnt imagine how you are feeling. just think of the many people who do love you and maybe itll help a little. LOVE U!
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